Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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