Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
