I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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