Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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