Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
