i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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