Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
