I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
