Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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