I wish I could punch you in the face.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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