never play flip cup with pint glasses
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
