If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Drake has all the answers
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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