Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
We got so high we made milksteak
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
