also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
