Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
