If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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