I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
