We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
