I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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