your room smells of hookers.
And success
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
