yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
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You. Win. At. Life.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
