remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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