i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
