First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
