I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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