I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
