Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
