At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
In America we eat man semen.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
