What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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