I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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