hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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