Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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