Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
