i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
