When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
