I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
