hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
