3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
