I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
