you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
