Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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