I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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