They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
