Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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