DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Randomize
