HIV tests are more positive than that guy
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
