It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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