ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I can text with my tongue
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
