I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
