I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
