Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
