so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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