2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
